Thursday, August 07, 2008

上个月黄和文娟姐结婚,我很荣幸地代表全体新加坡优秀留学生和杰出青年以及全体四川地震的灾民深切地祝贺他们在这茫茫人海之中时间的无涯的旷野里成功地走到了一起并且海枯石烂不死不休,让大家很是感动。

婚礼之前我问文娟姐要不要收红包,她说当然要,我说我们这么熟这种世俗的事情就不用了吧,她说谁跟你熟啊,我说我的确参加过几次婚礼但每次都是白吃白喝对送红包这种事完全没有经验,她说送一次就有经验了,我觉得她说的很有道理于是仔细想了想最后决定还是不送了。。。

最近很忙,每次工作超过12个小时,因为喜欢,剩下的时间都在玩,去了一些地方,认识了一些人 —— 人生是有限的,我们所能做的只不过是,在有生之年让自己过得快乐一点。

其实流氓也是种气质,孤独是种生活的态度,只要我们满意我们所选择的生活方式并且遵守其中的规则,那都是值得尊敬的。

Friday, July 18, 2008

5am, just got home, fucking exhausted since stay in office more than 14 hours everyday recently to trade Eurodollar and Euribor books, and didn't make any money...

My body's almost been worn out, but I'm still feeling fine because Trading is the very thing I like so much - you never know what's going to happen in next minute and every day is brand new with mystery!

Also I'm always happy to do whatever I really like to do with all my force without considering too much cost.

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

我只是不想让生命太平凡


在灯火辉煌的城市以一种寂寞的方式生存,幸运而美好,虽然有迷茫和痛苦,但也有自由和骄傲。

最近每晚总有很多千奇百怪的梦,真实而深刻。梦中总是忘了自己是谁身在何处。梦里所有的情节,发生,消失,然后迅速地被忘记,每天都是新的一天,每天都有新的旅程,如果真实的生活也能像这样,那该有多好。

另外7月2号黄辉和文娟姐结婚,不仅美女参加而且还管饭,真让人期待!

Monday, June 30, 2008

Life is incomplete without Diablo!

Diablo 3 is coming!!!

Monday, June 09, 2008

公元2008年6月

公元2008年6月,似乎有很多事情值得期待:

1. 一年一个月的荔枝,源源不断,一天两斤真他妈的美好。
2. 16号萧敬腾的专辑。
3. Nvidia月中发布新一代显卡GTX280。打算重新配台电脑卖来玩游戏。
4. 月底的越南旅行。
5. Age of Conan! Metal Gear Solid 4!

人们总是活在期待当中,有期待所以有痛苦,可是美好的往往只是期待和忍受痛苦的过程,得到过后发现不过如此,走不出的迷茫与彷徨,就像我,在虚度年华中一天一天地衰老。

突然想起“东邪西毒”里面的一句话:每个人都要经过这个阶段,看见一座山,就想知道山的后面是什么,我想告诉他,可能翻过山后面,你会发觉没什么特别,回头看,会觉得这边更好,但是他不会相信,以他的性格,自己不试试,是不会甘心的!

有很多事错了就错了,过了就过了,无法弥补也无法挽回,只剩下遗憾,然后,慢慢被时间忘记。

Thursday, May 22, 2008

It's always good to talk to great people to get different opinions and advices since individual human-been is always ignorant and blind.
Actually I got deep confusion in last a few months. I didn't realize that I was already in a golden spot for which I should treasure and fully utilize... Anyhow I have to make it right as soon as possible.

Went back Chengdu for 10 days holiday on May 1th, played around the city with my friends every day and night, fucking funny and enjoyable.
Regretfully, I left Chengdu one day before the earthquake, which is a catastrophe I really keen to experience. It's dangerous and woeful creating tremendous damage and pain, but it's also supposed to be an interesting adventure of life.

Friday, May 16, 2008

生尽欢 死无憾

可惜我不在成都,不然一定很有趣,因为他妈的地震了。

看太多的电影,读太多的小说,让我平静外表下有颗动荡不安的心,期望冒险,期望奇遇,期望不平常的事情发生,哪怕充满危险。

关于灾难,很多年前读张爱玲的<倾城之恋>,发现两个相爱的人在死亡面前紧紧相拥也是件很幸福的事情。但我注定独自流浪。

最近一直在玩仙剑4,很有感觉:

人生苦短,转瞬即逝,与其担心世事无常和害怕以后的事情,不如珍惜眼前的时光眼前的人,活着的时候要尽欢,死的时候才没有遗憾!

最后为地震中死去以及没有死去的人默哀,生老病死生死别离,生命太脆弱,现实太残酷。

Saturday, April 26, 2008

昨天夜半趴在床上看了一遍张朝阳在鲁豫有约的视频,今天夜半趴在床上又看一遍。

突然发现我们所看到的伟人,他们现在拥有的波澜壮阔海阔天空不过是经过长期痛苦挣扎奋斗的结果,而人们往往都只羡慕和追求这个结果,却忽略了其中常人不能忍受的漫长而艰辛的过程。

我一直认为自己现在的自由是建立在过去的莫大的痛苦之上,但比起那些真正值得崇拜的人,差远了。

Sunday, April 20, 2008

又看了一遍王家卫的《东邪西毒》,还是那么感动,尽管现在几乎已经没有什么事情能让我感动了。。。
  • 任何人都可以变得狠毒,只要你尝试过什么叫做忌妒。
  • 如果有一天我忍不住问起,你一定要骗我,就算你的心有多么不愿意,也不要告诉我,你最喜欢的人不是我。
  • 每个人都要经过这个阶段,看见一座山,就想知道山的后面是什么。我想告诉他,可能翻过山后面,你会发觉没什么特别,回头看,会觉得这边更好。
  • 虽然我很喜欢她,但是我不想让她知道,因为我明白得不到的东西永远是最好的 。
  • 为什么要到失去的时候才争取?既然是这样,我不会让他得到。
  • 我一直以为是我自己赢了,直到有一天看着镜子,才知道自己输了,在我最美好的时候,我最喜欢的人都不在我身边。
  • 我知道,要想不被人拒绝,最好的方法是先拒绝别人。
  • 当你不能够再拥有,你唯一可以做的,就是令自己不要忘记。
生命中有太多的事情不受控制,我们唯一能做的只有控制自己,然后变得麻木和偏执,或许也会坚强,坚强到微笑着去享受命运所给的一切快乐和悲伤。

Thursday, April 10, 2008

I can not fall asleep tonight again since there has some fascinating ideas and images haunting in my mind, again.

All the past madness, which made me excited, fell away my expectation 9.5 out of 10 times, but I still feel very much like to explore the opportunities to turn the new ones into reality.

After many years' misery, one principle most important I stand to: Act immediately after thinking carefully, not to regret for anything in future!

Otherwise, I moved out of Costa Rhu condo last week as the rental became too high for me to pay, however I have to say it's a fucking nice place to stay. This was the view of my window:

Thursday, March 13, 2008

。。。无语

钗头凤--陆游

红酥手,黄藤酒,满城春色宫墙柳。东风恶,欢情薄,一杯愁绪,几年离索。错!错!错!

春如旧,人空瘦,泪痕红悒鲛绡透。桃花落,闲池阁,山盟虽在,锦书难托。莫,莫,莫!

钗头凤--唐婉

世情薄,人情恶,雨送黄昏花易落。晓风干,泪痕残,欲笺心事,独语斜阑。难!难!难!

人成各,今非昨,病魂常似秋千索。角声寒,夜阑珊,怕人寻问,咽泪装欢。瞒,瞒,瞒!

夜半偶然读到这两首词突然觉得很无语,发现现在自己能比一般人过得自由一点并不是因为我更聪明,而是因为我能承受比一般人大得多的痛苦。放弃该放弃的,面对该面对的,没有后悔,没有退缩,享受寂寞和伤痛,嘲笑世俗和虚伪,无心欺骗也无心猜疑。

Friday, March 07, 2008

Not feel very well recently as there're many things haunting in my fucking mind, as I always lack the power of determination to make things right.

Have to say I'm an optimistic guy generally, there're a lot of funs making me laugh everyday, however when I get upset, it's extremely miserable, like this moment deep in the night.

Right now, painfully, I'm supposed to wake up 6 hours later to be the witness of my best friend's wedding but I still couldn't fall asleep, just listening music and writing blog...

Anyhow, everything is fine and boring :(

阿爆昨天晚上给我托梦了,他说大家不用担心他现在过得很好很开心,他也希望我们过得很好很开心,逢年过节不要忘了他!

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

似水流年

回中国11天,从开始到结束,看见了很多人发生了很多事,时间像握在手中的沙,突然觉得山川岁月经不起等待而自己在一天天地衰老,好鸡巴悲伤。

那天打牌喝酒好久不见的睿哥也来了,穿了件黑色的皮衣很帅很适合他,一看就知道是猪皮的。

阿暴还是那个样子,上飞机回新加坡之前我才敢告诉他:虽然他以前打过我好几次但是我从来都不怪他,我知道其实他心里也不想也很痛苦但就是控制不住自己野生动物的天性,希望他以后能克服对繁殖和香蕉的冲动,撕下人皮的面具,早日重新回到森林的怀抱!

另外在酒吧里面把自己心爱的黑莓手机搞丢了,世事无常得失往往只在一念之间。。。

11天后的今夜,我很累而且发现自己每天都在犯错。。。

Thursday, February 07, 2008

Yesterday is the eve of chinese new year which has no meaning for a homeless guy like me. I was just in office watching the market and reading a book named "all about hedge fund".

Of course I felt sort of lonely, which been an essential part of my life that I enjoy a lot, it's also the sacrifice of freedom which is more important than anything else.

Had a running around Costa Rhu just now and I'm packing my stuffs for tomorrow morning's fly to Chengdu.
It's supposed to be a nice trip with friends and foods!

Monday, February 04, 2008

Sad and Excited

夜半,黑,躺在床上听着音乐想起以前做错的事情和错失的机会突然觉得很伤心于是爬起来写blog却又不知道从什么地方写起...

花了几天时间决定了两件事:
1.8号回成都疯玩几天然后一个人去上海见一些人.
2.如果我继续现在的工作可以安稳地过上很多年,但是很多年后我会像今夜这样后悔曾经的懦弱和错失机会. 我不要!

周末去Timberland买了一双很是喜欢的木底刻花黑色皮鞋, 虽然平时很少穿放着也很高兴, 还卖了件CK的白色外套, 回国穿.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

I'm going to do it !!!!!!

When I seat in darkness, I decide to to do something great no one did before, I'm going to challenge all my fears and weakness, and I know it will be tremendously tough and many people will laugh at me till the day I'm out of the game or I succeed.

Let me spin wheel of fate again!

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

2008, a new year as time pass by, fucking sad!

2008了, 似水流年, 真他妈的悲伤!