I feel bad, now and the past a few days, even cannot breathe. One reason is I am a boring guy and the living is also boring. Another reason is I feel sort of stressful.
There are many things I should read and research for efficiently managing the trading networks and our new intranet. The problem is, I even didn't have any mood to do those things but I was forced and I had to. It makes me painful.
Anyhow, it's not the first time and won't be the last time. I have been used to it.
One of the reasons by which I like working for Gerard is, he never forget or trick what he says. If he says he wants to be the best, then he will. I would like to be an important chessman taking charge IT.
Got my big check from Judy and bought her a cafe in this morning. Seated in GETC in the whole afternoon.
I am feeling fucking sleepy at this moment. I am going to have a short sleep now.
Friday, February 10, 2006
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
Two days
Monday---
Woke up at 11am, went to office after taking a bath and drinking some cold milk.
I always wake up at this time recently. It likes a boring holiday for me now.
Had dinner at a prime Italy restaurant with Naresh, Lipeng, Gerard and Henk.
It's a amused night. The pizzas and one shot of Rum mixed with lemon juice killed me.
Sometimes I indeed feel lucky to start the career with them.


Tuesday---
Had a meeting with 2 teachers at 3pm in school, regrading my status. I think they never met the same situation before and I sort of bothered them.
Saw Jielin, Caiqi, Shaun, Sherman, Yewjinn, Wilfred, Cindy after their class and we went dinner at a fish food restaurant. It's always crazy and joyful to go out with them:)
There was a bloody pretty foreign girl around us. She is the waiter in that restaurant. I was watching her, all of a sudden, I remembered those days I was working as a waiter...
I asked them if they saw her in school recently, all of them said no. I felt sort of strange and I wish she would be happy in Thailand.
Woke up at 11am, went to office after taking a bath and drinking some cold milk.
I always wake up at this time recently. It likes a boring holiday for me now.
Had dinner at a prime Italy restaurant with Naresh, Lipeng, Gerard and Henk.
It's a amused night. The pizzas and one shot of Rum mixed with lemon juice killed me.
Sometimes I indeed feel lucky to start the career with them.


Tuesday---
Had a meeting with 2 teachers at 3pm in school, regrading my status. I think they never met the same situation before and I sort of bothered them.
Saw Jielin, Caiqi, Shaun, Sherman, Yewjinn, Wilfred, Cindy after their class and we went dinner at a fish food restaurant. It's always crazy and joyful to go out with them:)
There was a bloody pretty foreign girl around us. She is the waiter in that restaurant. I was watching her, all of a sudden, I remembered those days I was working as a waiter...
I asked them if they saw her in school recently, all of them said no. I felt sort of strange and I wish she would be happy in Thailand.
Sunday, February 05, 2006
Is she???
The night is dark and it started raining outside again. I am feeling sort of cold now.
Sunshine was bright and hot at daytime, but the rain was coming down with night quickly. What a wonderful weather in Singapore! It's a sufficient reason for me to like here.
Today is a boring day. I don't go anywhere and face a my laptop for a whole day. Only went swimming for a while after waking up because the sunshine was nice at that time - I was thinking why I still cannot swim more than 10 meters no matter how hard I try, the answer is, I'm too skinny to float in water easily...
I felt into some ridiculous imagination just now. I know it's stupid and childdish but I just couldn't stop it.
All of them are because of the strange girl I talked to by QQ yesterday. I just noticed possibly she is girl I saw in those pictures a few days ago.
I indeed hope she is, but some information tells me she isn't. It really drives me mad because I am affected by those pictures and I am keen to know the truth.
Anyhow, I must have a apple now for my empty stomach and stop to read some documentations. Gerard gave me 3 troubled questions regarding email service and I can never say "sorry, I don't know".
Sunshine was bright and hot at daytime, but the rain was coming down with night quickly. What a wonderful weather in Singapore! It's a sufficient reason for me to like here.
Today is a boring day. I don't go anywhere and face a my laptop for a whole day. Only went swimming for a while after waking up because the sunshine was nice at that time - I was thinking why I still cannot swim more than 10 meters no matter how hard I try, the answer is, I'm too skinny to float in water easily...
I felt into some ridiculous imagination just now. I know it's stupid and childdish but I just couldn't stop it.
All of them are because of the strange girl I talked to by QQ yesterday. I just noticed possibly she is girl I saw in those pictures a few days ago.
I indeed hope she is, but some information tells me she isn't. It really drives me mad because I am affected by those pictures and I am keen to know the truth.
Anyhow, I must have a apple now for my empty stomach and stop to read some documentations. Gerard gave me 3 troubled questions regarding email service and I can never say "sorry, I don't know".
A knock
I am sort of excited tonight, no reason. I practically like this feeling, because it lets me know I am still alive.
Had chilli crab and steamboat with Jiang Wei yesterday, the third time I went there this week - you can see how much I like it! I think I shouldn't go there anymore next week because it's not cheap and all.
Didn't see Jiang Wei for a long time. We talked a lot and I stayed at his home overnight, watching some silly and boring TV shows into deep night.
Hello Kitty stuffs are full of Jiang Wei's house, T-shirt, bag, wallet, underwear, toy, anything you can imagine. He purchase them from China and sell to virgin girls in Singapore.
He also have a little dog. It's cute. Actually I prefer cat much more and I will buy a pair if I decide to feed any pet - I don't want them as lonely as me:)
Got home in this afternoon, took a bath, talked to a strange girl online for a while, then went to Orchard road to meet Farhan and Shidar.
We had dinner at a Japanese restaurant. It's a nice place, but, I really cannot take too much raw food no matter how good it is...
Afterward, saw some nice malay guys and had some soft drink with them.
Arrived home at 12 clock. Finally, I am feeling sort of sleepy now...

Had chilli crab and steamboat with Jiang Wei yesterday, the third time I went there this week - you can see how much I like it! I think I shouldn't go there anymore next week because it's not cheap and all.
Didn't see Jiang Wei for a long time. We talked a lot and I stayed at his home overnight, watching some silly and boring TV shows into deep night.
Hello Kitty stuffs are full of Jiang Wei's house, T-shirt, bag, wallet, underwear, toy, anything you can imagine. He purchase them from China and sell to virgin girls in Singapore.
He also have a little dog. It's cute. Actually I prefer cat much more and I will buy a pair if I decide to feed any pet - I don't want them as lonely as me:)
Got home in this afternoon, took a bath, talked to a strange girl online for a while, then went to Orchard road to meet Farhan and Shidar.
We had dinner at a Japanese restaurant. It's a nice place, but, I really cannot take too much raw food no matter how good it is...
Afterward, saw some nice malay guys and had some soft drink with them.
Arrived home at 12 clock. Finally, I am feeling sort of sleepy now...


Thursday, February 02, 2006
The Death!
Having some black chocolate and apple juice right now - they are the two things I love. All of suddenly, I am keen to write something about death.
I frequently feel fucking despairing with life. Why I am here? What I live for? What I should pursuit? All the terrific stuffs feaze me out of my control. Then I keep thinking a lot, including death.
Death isn't a terrible or fearful thing for me and all.
I always think it should be a good status being without consciousness, without happiness,sadness, and without anything else in the world like I was never born before. Perhaps this's death.
Otherwise, if there really have god and demon, angel and ghost, I will be more glad. I would like to see what the laws used to judge me and punish me.
Some people would have chosen suicide, like Zhang Guorong. I like him as hell and I respect him as same as I respect Jesus.
In my sight, he is the bravest people in the world who dares to offend death for getting the destination of life!
Frankly, I indeed feel sort of same motivity when I have been feeling into deeply depressive.
Death is the last thing we can pursuit! It's supposed to an end and a new start.
Anyhow, I never think I will kill myself in 10 or 20 years. There are still a lot of attractive and wonderful things in the world for me, accompanying with equivalent affliction.
I frequently feel fucking despairing with life. Why I am here? What I live for? What I should pursuit? All the terrific stuffs feaze me out of my control. Then I keep thinking a lot, including death.
Death isn't a terrible or fearful thing for me and all.
I always think it should be a good status being without consciousness, without happiness,sadness, and without anything else in the world like I was never born before. Perhaps this's death.
Otherwise, if there really have god and demon, angel and ghost, I will be more glad. I would like to see what the laws used to judge me and punish me.
Some people would have chosen suicide, like Zhang Guorong. I like him as hell and I respect him as same as I respect Jesus.
In my sight, he is the bravest people in the world who dares to offend death for getting the destination of life!
Frankly, I indeed feel sort of same motivity when I have been feeling into deeply depressive.
Death is the last thing we can pursuit! It's supposed to an end and a new start.
Anyhow, I never think I will kill myself in 10 or 20 years. There are still a lot of attractive and wonderful things in the world for me, accompanying with equivalent affliction.
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
Nice spring
I was headachy in the whole afternoon, because of a big cup of beer.
Perhaps the sunshine was too warm and the wind was too soft, all of sudden, I felt like to drink some beer when we were having lunch beside Singapore river.
Everyone would have seen how inferior a drinker I am. My face, even my whole body turned red quickly and I was feeling sort of dizzy. That feeling is fucking terrible.
Tell the truth, I never enjoy drinking and I still cannot understand why there are so many people addicted to it, like Naresh, Lipeng, and everyone else.
Sometimes I am really shamed with myself.
Today, school sent me a email, saying they will withdraw my place if I don't go back this week.
Definitely, there is no reason for me to go back, but I got some serious problem with the VISA and all.
Anyhow, I will try to figure it out tomorrow.
Perhaps the sunshine was too warm and the wind was too soft, all of sudden, I felt like to drink some beer when we were having lunch beside Singapore river.
Everyone would have seen how inferior a drinker I am. My face, even my whole body turned red quickly and I was feeling sort of dizzy. That feeling is fucking terrible.
Tell the truth, I never enjoy drinking and I still cannot understand why there are so many people addicted to it, like Naresh, Lipeng, and everyone else.
Sometimes I am really shamed with myself.
Today, school sent me a email, saying they will withdraw my place if I don't go back this week.
Definitely, there is no reason for me to go back, but I got some serious problem with the VISA and all.
Anyhow, I will try to figure it out tomorrow.
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