I remember I made a promise for myself at last year's Christmas night, and I also remember impressively how void, how despairing and how dark it was at that terrible time.
However, this year, I indeed don't know whether I achieved that promise. Everything around me has changed, I am still the same.
I wouldn't like to depict how terrific mood I take anymore even once or how regretful I am. The only thing I want to say is, I am a fucking moron and all.
Game accompanys with me on Christmas. I was playing World Of Warcraft all throught these three days without day and night.
I used to laugh at Pan Zhe and Dejia that they are crazy to play this game everyday. Practically I am much more crazy than them once start.
The thing made me sort of happy was, JY and YY were playing game together with me on these nights - they are my fucking buddies in China. But, there is a bit of difference - they are hurt by too many loves.
Otherwise, it's really difficult for me to choose a word to admire World Of Warcraft. It seems like none of the words is intense enough.
Maybe it's because I don't have a terrific vocabulary to praise something - I think I should read some Christian books and all.
Today is my birthday, but I didn't tell anybody.
One reason is I perceive I have been very old and have no courage to face it. And another reason is, there is on one I feel like to celebrate with at all.
Sometimes I really imagine, if I have a choice, I will choose never borned before.
